I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
that's an acceptable place to lick
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
