Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
