i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
