Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Buhtt sex?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
