dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
