Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
