i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You may now shotgun with the bride
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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