covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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