The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize