The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
