ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
