I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
do herpes really smell.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
