the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
