I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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