I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
