I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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