the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
