I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
