Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
