she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
