I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
