I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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