this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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