Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
