so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
