I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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