I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We need a shit load of segways right now
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
