he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
