I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
