The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
