We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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