How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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