Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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