Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
