so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
