you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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