this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
