I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
