I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
