oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
