also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
