Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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