can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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