it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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