I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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