careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
