i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
