Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
