Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
