I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
