there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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