i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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